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Rape by Mo Matik

Innocence taking away from me as I lay,
I never thought it would be like this, this is hard to even say.
The man I got involved with I thought was something more,
Until he took what’s important to me and made me feel like his whore.
He took it right there with me screaming so loud,
He took it as if it was a prize and he was acting all proud.
He took it without thinking twice without having any remorse,
He took it when I said no and started crying, he got more angry and used more force.
As I was hitting him and telling him to get off of me,
He grabbed my wrists held me tighter and said this was how it’s supposed to be.
He said he would take it if I wouldn’t give it up, because nothing is for free.
Ive lost so much, I cant let go of this dreadful night,
Still when I sleep it replays itself over over, this awful sight.
I still see the knife that he pressed against my chest,
I still feel that horrible feeling of being hopeless and feeling close to death.
Pride is a word that is unknown to me,
Because I am so embarrassed, because I feel captured and will never be set free.
It has effected my every move it has effected my every step,
The nights are the worst, in this last while I don’t think I have even slept. Trying to love another seems impossible anymore,
I cant be with anyone else my trust is frozen to its core.
I try to open up and let another person in,
But now inside of me is a fear I have of men.