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To all those young girls out there....
Sometimes I feel like things in this life will never change. I dont know anymore if my man will ever put down his rag, and stay with his family. I feel lost, not knowing whether I should take my babies and run...or stand by his side, and pretty much wait for something really bad to happen. What more can really happen? I was shot three times, our son was right there. Realistically, we should be dead right now. But my man, he's not giving in. He's not letting them get him down. Me, on the other hand, I'm already down. It was me they had the hit out on, and in that they succeeded. They hit me, they hurt me, and they know that. Will they give up? Never. Will they come back? Next time with twice as much anger and vengence.

Why do we do this to ourselves, ladies? Why do we let the men that we love so much put ourselves and our families through so much pain? It's that whole "love is blind" thing, maybe. But once you get past that being "blind" stage..you just want to go back. You dont want to see the hurt, the pain, the drama. You want to go back to "knowing" everything was somewhat "perfect." You dont want to realize that the man you love most is the one who, in the end, hurt you most.

MY advice to all you YOUNG ladies out there, dont get involved with some cholo just because it's "cute" or because you think you'll be "protected from all harm." It really isnt like that at all. You will probably fall into the situation innocently, and end up just like me. 5 years, 2 kids, and 3 gunshot wounds later...still trying to figure a way out. A way out of this life that has caused me as much pain as shame. What I'm trying to say is... Be smart, be picky, and dont SETTLE for anyone. Always look for the best, because you dont deserve ANYTHING less than that. And as always, keep your heads up. There's a lot of bullshit that's gonna come your way in this lifetime, just take things as they come, and deal with them as best as you can.

babygirl_rodriguez18