Return To Home Page

My homeboy left for dead

now im second guessing as I lay on the ground and the world spins
I’m callin your names, but I don’t here a sound
Hello, is there anyone still around
My 27th birthday party, a miracle I would see today
Never knowing that those closest to me would be trying to put me away
We just left the party, kickin it all night
Got a good buzz goin’, but now someone turned out the lights
All I see is dark, not a star in sight
Even the moon has faded away into the dark dark night
Why is my body shaking, and my heart is racing
I’m starting to sweat, is this a dream, and I’ll soon awaken
Please, someone turn on the lights
You guys won, it’s funny… now make sure I am allright
Help! I can’t feel my legs no more, and my hands are numb
Oh my god whats goin on?
My mind feels clouded yet I see my family standing around
I wonder if I will ever see them again, or if this is it
I’ve tried suicide before, the pills, the cuts, the rope
Nothing ever worked, for I never saw the light
Atleast not before tonite
Now everything is glowing and I hear a singing sound
Almost like a whistling all around
My body feels likes its floating, and I see people in white gowns
Somehow, im being lifted up off this ground
What happened to me, what happened to my high
All I see is my little girls eyes
Telling me daddy its ok, its gonna be allright
As she puts her arms around me and kisses me goodnight
I held her close and told her goodnight, as I shut off her bedroom light
And we got ready to leave for the night
Never knowing that would be my final sight
I felt so good, it was supposed to be a good night
I knew something felt different, different than any other high
I asked about the flavor, for it just didn’t seem right
It’s ok “Eagle” it’s a strong one tonite
I guess that was no lie
It was the strongest shyt to make me die
Dayum, where are my homies.. my supposed fam
Im freaking out, laying here on the ground
My body is burning up, yet its only 20 degrees out here
Im yelling outloud, but I can’t hear a sound
I can’t stop shaking, its like someones moving the ground
My breath is slow and shallow, like a boulder is on my chest
But my heart keeps beating faster and faster feels like its gonna burst
Everythings getting smaller, I can no longer open my eyes
Where are my homies, are you allright?
Oh my god what is happening… I thought this was gonna be a good night

Ringing door bells, and pounding knocks..
All of the things, that no mother ever wants
Sorry to wake you madam, 3 officers stand at my door
We have some bad news,
for we found your son this morning , just a little before 4
“ok, im getting dressed, what is he booked in for?”
“no maam, you don’t understand”
“He isnt in custody, or at the jail this time”
“What do you mean, “ I asked frantically, is everything allright
“Just tell me what his bond is, and I will post it tonite”
“I told him not to party to hard, its his birthday afterall…
just to be carefull and remember to stand tall.”
“He left with his homies, all 6 of them piled in the denali and away they rode”
“maam we are sorry to have to inform you, but we found your son,
He isn’t in any trouble, for we think this time the drugs won”
“He wasn’t breathing and no pulse could be found,
He was laying by an alley on the east side of town”
“What, you can’t be serious, are you sure it was him?”
“Yes maam, remember me and him go way back,
we know eachother from time and time again, cuff after cuff, cell door open and shut”
“we need you to come to the hospital and positive ID him”
I dropped to my knees, tears rushing from my face, this can’t be true
It has to be a mistake!
“I’ll go with you, but I know its just a mistake,
for his little girl is sleeping in the other room, he will be home before shes awake!”
I went to the hospital in a police car.. shaking my head all the way
“We are sorry maam, that you had to see this today”
They pulled the blanket up and I could see his white as a ghost face.
I fell to the ground, screaming, this can’t be true.
My only son, what am I gonna do?
What do I tell his little girl who sleeps at home in bed
Waiting for her daddy to return,
for he only said goodnight before he left!
Two officers helped me off the ground, and out of the room.
They said an autopsy would be done, but they are sure it was an Overdose.
I can’t feel anything, for my whole body is numb.
I guess that is what happens when you see your own blood laying dead before you
After a n innocent birthday night out with friends
I prayed to god, and asked him why, why did my son have to die?
Why did her daddy have to leave
Would he really not be there, when she awakes from her sleep?
And what woul d I tell her, when I get home
What is the reason her daddy isn’t coming home?
The police offer their apologies and simply walk away
They had made a mistake, not like my son had died, and I had to plan a wake!
For jesus sake, what has happened to this world?
Has everyone lost their faith?
I know my son wasn’t a model citizen his entire life
But doesn’t he deserve the respect at the end of his life?
Aren’t you cops going to ask any questions, or talk to who he was with?
“ NO, maam, its simply an overdose that Is what happens when a person uses to much drugs at one time, the body goes into shock!”
How do you know that was the cause?
Now come on maam we both know his history, he was a street druggie from the age of 14. HE ran on the streets, with his colors and his hood. One hand on a pistol and another on the goods. It’s a tragic end to a young mans life, but that is what happens when a druggie dies!
I lost my mind at this point, I couldn’t see straight. Don’t they realize that this so called druggie was a person too? A son, a father, a brother, an uncle, a fiance, a lover, a fighter, and most of all a human being!
Yes he held his colors, and let it be known, yes he drank on occasion, yes his friends were thugged out, and no he didn’t abide by all laws. Yes hed been in trouble, but that is no cause to say a father, a son, and a brother, is simply an overdosed druggie. He deserves a fair shot at life and death… this isn’t how the world is supposed to live and this wasn’t how my son was supposed to die!
lil'mac