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"Virgin by Choice" for ladys like me..by Dollfac3

Here Again,
that terrible voice within my head,
the man reminding me of who i used to be.
I touch the "X" thats engraved on my left arm,
the one "X" the guy left.
It's gradually fading away,
but everytime i place my fingers on it,
i remember the fear in my eyes, i remember the pain that fulfilled me.
It's the most difficult task explaining my being a "virgin by choice"
i had no say being you know.. raped. i was a kid
now its hard for me.. finally realizing that i've lost something so specail, because now when i truly love that one person, i have nothing to lose"...
So the man i love i told i was a virgin...
iwas terrified, what would he think if me knowing what happened to me.. and why on earth would i lie?/. rite!?
soo we did "make love"..
and he waited.. a few days later he gained the confidence to ask.. why did i lie.
i told him to sit down and i'd explain,
never in my life would i have expected to impact someone elses life, i never knew i was worth" so much.
as soon as i got teary eyed, it's like he knew what i was going to say,
he grabbed my hand and wiped emy tear, i looked up and there he was crying with me/
we skipped class that day and cried together haha
we didnt say, we were just by eachothers side,
then he told me and with the most compassion in a mans eyes
he said i love you"...
with yet another tear rolling down his soft cheek