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The Minds of Children In Adult Bodies by Jey
I'm old skool GS, this piece im writing is dedicated to all the young men and women we've lost throughout our lives, trapped in their own minds til the last. I'm writing this as a story and personal opinions, so check it out and let me know what you think. When the clock starts ringin at 11 am, most other everyday people are already workin their day in day out, most of the time, dead end Job's, I pull second shift at the factory, so I don't have to be at work til 3-I never went to college, barely made it out of High School, didn't have the money anyways, I really only knew how to do what bosses told me, and Music, music was always my first Love, and most times the only friend I could Trust. See I came up before it was cool to be in a gang, before young suburban white kids were rockin blue rags claimin crip, before the "C-walk" got big in clubs, and before every kid had a studio in his basement. I lived in the shitty section of town, and my summers were spent in the shitty section, of a worse city, I don't need to put my biz out there, but it was between MA and NJ. My whole fam were Crip, Not because it was what they wanted (at first), but because that's where they found acceptance, most were immigrants, escaping War In Lebanon, things were better when tanks aren't rolling thru ya hood i guess. A bunch f Arab Crips, besides the Cambodians, I don't think there's any other mixed group(I may be wrong). Long story short, I got into the set when i was 13, by the time i was 16, I'd seen well over 30 people from our set dead, including 3 cousins, a fourth was killed this past december,whom i will speak on shortly. After Losing My cousin Omar, who I watched have his head literally blown off, i decided to Leave, I immediately ran into problems with that 4th cousin mentioned before, he had put a hit out when i told them i wasn't going back, family switched real quick when you didn't have common goals. I had no intention of being number 37 at 16. I know it's hard to leave if you have nowhere to go,but there's always somewhere, and there's always some way, see, a lot of adults (18-25)in the game, they think they cant go anywhere, the child mindset comes in an says you can't go anywhere, fear is a natural emotion, but you can control it, and thats part of reaching adulthood, sometimes you need to take a breath, step back, then charge head-on, scared or not. You look like an adult at age 18, but you need to prove you have the mindset, if you can't do that, then you are only a child, i woke up the day i left, I realized i would always be a leader, never to follow again. Everyone has the ability to lead, but you must be an adult in mind and body before you can claim you're an adult. On the real though, ya'll "adults" gotta wake up cuz shit gon' change quick. I'm 23, I work in a factory, an yea, I do my music, an I'm making things better, but thas cuz I worked for it, I gave up a lot of crazy things in my past, just so i can type this and honestly say "I'm free". nobody holds my life except for myself, and until I die and see what's next, that's my belief. I don't want to wake up any more mornings reading the local news sayin another of my homies is dead,I don't like talking with friends i hadn't seen from highschool, and having conversations involving "did you hear what happened to smokey?" "remember when they got Jerome?" "what happened to Mackey?"...."O.D.". It's messed up, and I know it can change, but first we all need reality checks, and to grow up out of the child mind set. |