|
TIRED OF ALL THE PAIN< IM GONNA MAKE THIS AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE. EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS, IM JUST GONNA LET THEM KNOW WHAT I SEEN AND BEEN THROUGH. WHEN I WAS YOUNG I USED TO BE REAL GOOD KID. WHEN I GOT TO HIGH SCHOOL EVERY THING CHANGED. I STARTED BANGIN AND GETTING INTO FIGHTS. I GOT KICKED OUT AT 16. THEN MY MOM MOVED INTO ENEMY TERRITORY AND I GOT FUCKED WITH DAILY.ONE DAY IN MY HOOD WE GOT INTO A SQUABBLE WITH A RIVAL GANG, SHIT JUMPED OFF AND MY SO-CALLED BOYZ RAN ON ME. EVENTUALLY I GOT OUT THE GANG CAUSE THEY WEREN'T TRUE TO BANGING. I SAID FUCK A GANG, A CLICK, OR A POSSE. IM JUST GONNA BE A THUG.RIDE OUT 4 MYSELF. IF YOU COOL WITH ME IM COOL WITH YOU. LATER THAT YEAR I MET "NIGGA MIKE." HE WOULD LATER BECOME MY BEST FRIEND. BEFORE THAT I ALREADY HAD A HOMIE NAMED O.B THAT WAS READY TO LET LOOSE ON ANYONE THAT GOT IN MINE OR HIS WAY. HE HAD MY BACK. I MET THESE 2 COOL MUTHAFUCKAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OUR FAMILY MOVED TO. SO I HAD TO WATCH OUT WHEN I LEFT THE HOUSE.I KEPT GETTING INTO FIGHTS EVEN THOUGH MIKE AND O.B WOULD TELL THESE GUYS I WAS NO LONGER BANGING, THAT IM JUST A THUG. EVENTUALLY I GOT TO KNOW THEM ONE BY ONE AND EVERYTHING WAS COOL. I WAS WITH O.B ONE DAY WHEN HE SHOT A PERSON IN HIS EYE.(2 MONTHS GO BYE ). IN THOSE TWO MONTHS O.B GOT LOCKED UP FOR SOMETHING ELSE. MEANWHILE IN THE STREETS SHIT IS GETTING HOT. THERE QUESTIONING ME ABOUT THE SHOOTING. THE GUY LATER IDENTIFIED OB AS THE < SHOOTER AND HE PLEADED GUILTY WICH GOT ME OFF THE HOOK. I WAS HAVING FUN ALL YEAR WITH NIGGA MIKE. HE WAS LIKE MY LIL BROTHER. DRINK TOGETHER, SMOKE BUD TOGETHER, FIGHT OTHER HATERS TOGETHER. BUT ON NOVEMBER 5TH ME AND HIM WENT BY THIS GIRLS HOUSE THAT I MET A FEW DAYS EARLIER WITH MY OLDER BROTHER. WHEN WE GOT THERE WE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AFTER SHE INVITED US OVER. HER BOYFRIEND ANSWERS THE DOOR SAYS SHE WENT TO THE STORE AND BEGAN TALKING SHIT.WE ARGUED . HE STAYED IN THE HOUSE AFTER TELLING HIM TO COME OUTSIDE SO WE CAN SMASH HIM. WE START TO WALK AWAY WHEN HE COMES RUNNING OUT WITH A SCREWDRIVER. IM STANDING CLOSEST TO HIM AND HE RUNS PAST ME AND PLUNGES THE SCREWDRIVER IN MY FRIENDS HEART.HE FLEES THE SCENE. IM STANDING WITH MY FRIENDS LIMP DYING BODY IN MY ARMS. TELLING HIM EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE COOL FOR HIM NOT TO DIE. WHEN HE GOT TO THE HOSPITAL HE WAS ALREADY PRONOUNCED DEAD. ITS HARD TO SEE SOMEONE YOU LOVE PUT IN THE GROUND. I WAS 18 THEN. IM 22 NOW. SINCE THEN I HAVE A SON AND A GIRLFRIEND THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH. I HAVE A JOB AN APARTMENT AND A CAR. IM DOING O.K. (NOW) WHEN I WAS 20 UNTIL LAST MONTH I WAS HEAVY INTO DRUGS. I WAS DOING HEROIN a lot. I USED TO GO COP IT ON A NOTORIOUS DRUG BLOCK AFTER I GOT OFF OF WORK. NOBODY KNEW OF MY PROBLEM UNTIL I GOT CAUGHT WITH A BAG OF DOPE AND LOCKED UP. OF COURSE, I TRIED TO LIE AND SAY THE COPS PLANTED IT ON ME. UNTIL MY LADY'S FATHER(WHO IS A COP) CALLED THE PRECINCT THAT I GOT LOCKED UP AT AND ASKED WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. EVERYONE IS DISAPPOINTED IN ME. MY WHOLE FAMILY. HER FAMILY DON'T WANT ME AROUND EITHER. IM GONNA GET A FELONY ON MY RAPSHEET. NOW EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. MY FAMILY SAYS ITS NOT TRUE, BUT I FEEL AS IF THEY LOOK AT ME DIFFERENTLY NOW. ITS LIKE IM DEAD INSIDE. I FEEL SUICIDAL. I WONT CAUSE HARM TO MYSELF, BUT I WALK AROUND THE STREETS LOOKING CRAZIER THEN EVER JUST HOPING SOMEONE WANTS TO TEST ME. I HAVE a lot MORE THEN MOST PEOPLE BUT IT WAS HARD TO GET EVERYTHING I HAVE. NOW I DON'T CARE FOR ANY OF IT. MOST OF THE TIME I FEEL LIKE DEATH IS A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM ME. I REALLY HOPE THINGS GET BETTER FOR ME. I PRAY TO GOD ALL THE TIME BUT I DON'T THINK HE'S LISTENING. OR MAYBE I NEED TO ASK NICER. , SAINT ARTHUG |